puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
