ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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