wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my shit smells like andre
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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