You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
