just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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