I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
