So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
