i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
