she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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