in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
