no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
