I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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