I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
