10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
