She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
