p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
