Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
