How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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