Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
