i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
