toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
