I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize