I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
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I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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