She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
