Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
