I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
