Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
