I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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