She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
