The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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