Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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