Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
