I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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