Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
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I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize