Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize