I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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