After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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