She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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