So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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