I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
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The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
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i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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