your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.