..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.