i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We need to get me chipped asap
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
