Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.

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(703): View more from Virginia

It's like God shit irony all over that family

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.

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(816): View more from Missouri

believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(208): View more from Idaho

I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.

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(863): View more from Florida

if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed

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(801): View more from Utah

Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?

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(47): View more from Norway

Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van

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(541): View more from Oregon

If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.

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