He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
