at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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