True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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