I look better un-naked...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Vodka?
Forever.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
