she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
