i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
