I'm drive I can fine osifer
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm both gender and math confused
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