So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
