just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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