That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
