Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
