dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
