Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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