have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
