i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
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My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
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You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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