Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
His hands were made for my vagina.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
