WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
