Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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