Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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