I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You need Xanax blowdarts
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
